Nov 25, 2006 02:44:03 PM by phlogr       Not yet rated        No Comments

Who are your web-users? Who are you? And for the love God, who is going to tell-it-like-it-is when it comes to the skin-of-your-teeth world of extracting every ounce of info-blood from your web-users?

I’ll begin with the tale of two web sites.

Site One: The Vagabond A dusty little site, that is, a site with no Online Survey. This dusty little site, awash in the dander of its own surveyless content, traversing the web-waves like so much web-tumbleweed — this is a site destined to shrivel up in questionnaireless, user-info dessication . Reserve not your pity for this dustbin of web history, for it will suffer the web-beggar’s death.

Site Two: A Web Hero Among Web Superstars Let oceans part, let asteroids stray, but most important, let users click option “Yes!” when presented with Online Surveys. The great web-men, the leading ladies of the web-ages, these folks know their users not via intuition, or insight, or understanding. No — they know their users because they make them pay, by the following sequence of required user-actions.

1. Let users fill out exhaustive registration forms.
2. Let users uncheck innumerable subscription checkboxes.
3. Let users prove their commitment to your website by letting them finalize registration from their email inboxes.
4. Let users contribute big $$$ for the ability to access any meaningful content.
5. And finally, let users fill out 5-10 page Online Survey Questionnaires, minimum.

These five actions — and more — combined with an unadorned love of Google, and everything that Google has or will represent — these are the ways to the user’s web-hearts — these are the ways to earn toppp $$$ — these are the ways to become best there ever was.

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